The Rabid Grammarian

At the risk of marginalizing my husband and male friends, I ask the Question of The Week: Are Men Becoming Obsolete? I'm not suggesting that males as a gender aren't nice to have around (well, some males) or that they are are becoming completely useless (although I've known a few who were close) I'm suggesting that in modern society males are becoming less needed. Not that they aren't wanted(God knows I prefer a group of guy friends over women most days) but they aren't needed.

Women are capable of doing everything men are capable of doing. We can start and run successful businesses. We can design and build structures and lift heavy objects. We can be doctors and heal the sick. We can govern and set law. We can fight in combat. We can raise a family on our own without a man's support emotionally or financially. We always have been able to do these things, even if we weren't allowed to through social norms or actual law. Women can do everything a man can do and more. We can have children.

In fact, conception is really the only place where a woman needs a man. After that, we are completely capable of doing everything else on our own. I've known a great many women who were abandoned after conception to have and raise a child on their own. This is not about want, it's about raw need. And it's this realization that men are in fact less necessary to the survival of the species that causes the oppressive behavior we see.

When women began to realize that they controlled their reproductive freedom (through the invention of reliable birth control) we gained access to our trump card as a gender. Now, in addition to being physically, intellectually, and emotionally capable of everything men can do, we could now control when and under what conditions we would have children. It's a power not to be taken lightly and a power that we are still fighting to keep.

"The abortion debate" as the media likes to call it is not about abortion or access to affordable birth control. At its core, the debate is about so much more: reproductive freedom, and ultimately, women's freedom. When women finally win the freedom over their bodies and control reproduction, it will become obvious how unequal the sexes really are. Is this why the fight over reproductive freedom continues? Could it be that paternalistic lawmakers consciously realize that if they lose this fight, women will realize how much power we truly hold? Are they afraid that women will realize that they don't need men to survive and they as a gender will become marginalized?

I'm of course speaking in extremes. Women as a whole are not going to decide one day to start Amazonian colonies where they emerge only to conceive children and then retreat. Well, some women might, but in general women tend to enjoy the company of men. Still, it's important to talk about reproductive freedom. Personally, I no longer consider myself "pro-choice," I consider myself a proponent of reproductive freedom.
When we as a society finally allow women to have control over their reproductive freedom our society will transcend from one where there is a continuous tug of war to one of true respect and admiration. I believe in part that this struggle for reproductive freedom permeates so much of our society and relationships. This is the last area where men are still controlling women and it sends a message that women need men in more ways than they actually do. For much of our time on Earth men have controlled women in some way or another. We're no longer barred from education or considered property, but for some reason a rather large part of the population feels that we are still incapable of making decisions about our bodies.

I believe when we as a gender finally achieve our reproductive freedom it will ripple out and change the relationships we have. Not immediately, but over time. I believe that reproductive freedom is the last hurdle we have as a society to prove that we are an evolved species. I'd like to think that this ripple will make women stronger and it will eventually affect our relationships in a positive manner. Women will finally see how capable they are when there are no more laws telling them what they can't do. I've known far too many women who are in bad or abusive relationships because they feel they "need" a man. And is it any wonder? For so long women have "needed" men because we were barred from doing so much.  Could this false sense of need be abolished if we finally gain reproductive freedom? Could the nature of our relationships become more healthy and evolved because we now move past a state of need and into a state of choice?

Note: This is not to suggest that all men seek to prevent women from achieving reproductive freedom or seek to control women. Likewise, it does not suggest that all women feel that they need a male to complete them or to achieve equality. It is simply a discussion, a hypothesis of a societal phenomenon. Also, it is not a commentary on modern feminism, which I believe is important and necessary to fight for the equality of all people, regardless of their biological gender and the society in which they live.