The Rabid Grammarian

Sometimes I think mommyhood is like a land grab. You grab what you need when you can. Mostly it's things like showers (I've been known to do a victory dance when I have the chance to shower), bathroom breaks with the door closed, eating food with both hands, or soup with even one hand (soup eating + baby in arms is not a good idea, trust me.) I also get a wild hair up my ass on occasion and want to be girly and paint my nails. Trying to get this done is basically impossible without tears from someone. But I do get it done sometimes.

Being able to create and birth a child aside, I've noticed just how inefficient my partner is at times. I can get a ton of stuff done while carrying a child around, while my significant other seems to not be able to do anything except play video or computer games.

I have a confession. Having a baby didn't make my life complete. I felt pretty fine beforehand and I don't feel as if things have much changed. Except there are far more bodily fluids in my life and far less showers. Motherhood did make things more complicated.

Maybe I'm a cold hearted bitch because motherhood didn't make me hear angels sing. I don't feel special or blessed.  I'm not suggesting that motherhood isn't hard or that mothers don't deserve respect. I have days where I want to shout Aretha Franklin at my husband, but I don't think that motherhood is equivalent to sainthood. I deserve no more respect than someone who does not have children. But I do deserve the same amount of showers. Speaking of which, I think I see an opening!